My heart.



On July 2nd, I said goodbye to my best friend. For months, I knew that something was wrong but all of his tests were coming back with zero results. In fact, he was in stellar health. And then the neurological signs started to show up and we knew it was in his brain. On Wednesday, we got our diagnosis and things took a turn for the worse after that.

I am angry. I thought that he would be around for years to come. Right now my heart is in a million pieces, but I’m trying to remember our life together and how wonderful it was. 


I have been obsessed with dogs since birth, but Rufus made all of my “crazy dog lady” dreams come true. Our little family road tripped across the country four times, lived in three different states and five different homes. We stayed in countless hotels, explored numerous parks, and hiked just as many trails. Rufus got to put his paws in the ocean and hike up mountains. He went on almost every single vacation with us, helped me raise fosters dogs, came to work with me, and even became my sole employee when I owned my own business. He was my dream dog. He was my constant companion. He occupied my whole heart. There will be no shortage of heartache in the months and years to come but I find comfort in knowing that we had such a full life together, even if it was cut short. Our bond ran deep and I’ll never forget how much one grumpy, wonderful, hilarious, loving and loyal mutt changed my life forever. 


“My little dog – a heartbeat at my feet.”


7 thoughts on “My heart.

  1. Oh, Vanessa. I’m so sorry to hear this. Rufus was such a good dog, and you gave him a wonderful life. Thanks for sharing it with all of us online. I hope you can be comforted by your happy memories of him in the days and weeks to come.

  2. Our dogs make such a huge difference to our lives, giving us unconditional love and companionship their entire life. Losing them leaves a giant, gaping hole in our heart and I can’t help but wonder if they know how much they were loved and how much joy they gave us. Thinking of you xxx

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